September 2023 Newsletter

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Restoring Personal Value

 

When people feel unworthy of success, they can self-sabotage their lives, making bad choices. Consciously or not, they can destroy relationships, education, careers, health, housing, freedom. It can be from personality, learned behavior, circumstances. They can be afraid of the pressure from responsibility, possible failure, criticism, expectations. Some cannot forget or forgive a war experience, personal tragedy, accident, crime. Some are victims, some make mistakes. A bad event can lead to another, spiraling out of control, causing some to be overwhelmed. Defeatism can become a lifestyle. Resulting consequences of dependencies, handicaps, addictions, imprisonment, joblessness, homelessness, any negative social tag can cause loss of personal value. Some believe they deserve a negative condition, even punish themselves. Some actually enjoy self-destructive behaviors for a while, before being consumed by them.

Each person is first a human being, having value and worthy of restoration. Instilling value happens through forgiveness, trust, purpose. Being forgiven, then forgiving self and others begins the process. Investing with a trust or duty continues the healing through productive activity and purpose. There needs to be restoration from shame to worth, rejection to acceptance, fear to faith, panic to assurance, giving up to joining in.

Aaron described himself as a person with low self-worth that used drugs as a coping mechanism. It started as a teenager and carried well into adult life. He said, “I wasn’t being a good son, a good husband, or a godly man. I was lying, manipulating, controlling, abusive.” Yet, he maintained employment. When the pandemic happened, he felt confined and relapsed in his addiction. He ended up living with his mother as a functioning addict in a co-dependent relationship. She turned a blind eye, because he was safe and not on the street. Those conditions led him to do something wrong, costing him a year in prison. He said, “I hit rock bottom and had no self-esteem.” He completed drug and alcohol treatment while confined. Upon release, he needed to continue recovery. Aaron said, “I chose Roseburg Rescue Mission, because it’s faith based.”

“It’s important because I relied on faith a lot in prison and I wanted to continue the actual act of attending service (chapel), and that means being around other Christians. It gives me the strength to do the next right thing. I needed to be forgiven by the Lord, before I could forgive myself.” He began building worth by doing the daily chore of washing dishes, being a part of the Mission community. He said, “I got the tools, support, structure that I needed to succeed.” Yet, his criminal background turned several potential employers away, until a landscaping company provided a job opportunity. Aaron rented a room in our Transitional Housing Program. Months later, he is still free of addiction, employed,