October 2020 Newsletter

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Teenage Domestic Violence

Domestic violence in a personal relationship began at age 14 for Alecia. It molded her formative years and young adult life. Her boyfriend was 17 and domineering; she was too young and meek. He was proud and had great plans to conquer life and succeed. As alcohol abuse and the reality of life set in, Alecia was the center of his venting frustration. They were caught in a codependent relationship and a downward spiral of addiction and unmet expectation. Dating domestic violence followed them into eleven years of marriage. Alecia said, “It was emotional violence, verbal abuse, degrading, demoralizing, then you start believing the lies, you lose yourself, identity, value, not good enough, not going to make it without drugs. He said I was stupid. He spoke for me in public.” Family members started them on prescription pain pills as a social connection to keep them close by. A couple of years after the pill addiction started, they discovered, she said that, “Heroin was cheaper and more prevalent. For two years the amount continued to increase to stay ‘well,’ as in not sick.” Then she said, “I realized that I had a problem and I needed to get clean (of drugs) and learn a new way to live.”

When Alecia arrived at Samaritan Inn in 2017, her daughter, Serenity, was just a year old. They stayed nine months. Alecia said, “It changed my life, structure, responsibility, order, re-prioritized my life. I wanted to follow the rules. I wanted to be successful, and I was now the one in charge of those decisions. I opened my heart to God. In my room after chapel (at Samaritan Inn) on my knees, I prayed, ‘I can’t do this by myself. I need You.’ And my heart opened up.” She then wrote a several page testimony of the faith, hope, and love that she had found in the Lord, as the opposite of the darkness and oppression of the domestic violence that she had endured for so long. She truly had a new life.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Its a time to be reminded that this tragedy exists in our society, and to be aware of the telltale signs of its existence. In the case of teenage friendships, prevention can stop a broken life from happening. Signs someone is being abused: excuses for injuries, personality changes to low self-esteem, constantly checking with partner, overly worried about pleasing partner, never having money, skipping work, school or events, wearing clothing to cover bruises. Ways to make a difference: volunteer, donate food and clothing, wear purple ribbons and clothing, donate money, read and share written materials, encourage an abused person, refer a woman to Samaritan Inn.