February 2024 Newsletter

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Supporting Mothers & Children

Some mothers arrive at Samaritan Inn with their children. Others are alone, seeking to regain custody of their children. Some mothers have timed-out of ever being with them again, because the separation has been long enough that their children have bonded to their new family. Some mothers have children in each of these categories. Grandmothers arrive here with grandchildren, or even three generations of family.

The goal is to keep children with their biological mother in a healthy environment. Children develop better and are happier in their nuclear family than in extended or foster families, unless there is a problem requiring them to be rescued to a more nurturing home. Foster parents fill a great need in society. Samaritan Inn is a supportive alternative, allowing mothers to maintain and regain their children.

Most mothers, needing shelter here, are victims of domestic violence. Some have been abusive themselves, or neglectful of their children. Some have addiction problems, lost employment or housing, violated restraining orders, been placed in jail or prison. Some mothers choose abusive relationships and/or addictions over keeping their own children. There can be a fear of rejection, homelessness, loneliness, worthiness, shelter conditions and rules. The intensity of codependent relationships can be stronger than the motherly instinct. In Oregon, the number of mothers in jails and prisons, that have minor children, has increased dramatically in recent years. Oregon Foster Care struggles to have enough foster parents.

Families that would have otherwise been separated are allowed to stay together, because of the accountability that Samaritan Inn provides. Some mothers are not permitted by the Department of Human Services to live with their children unsupervised. DHS has approved Samaritan Inn as a supervised living environment. Some mothers are actually grounded by them to our property or given permission to go to designated locations only. DHS has a safety plan for mothers to have conditional custody of their children: 1) have a homelike setting, 2) have a safe environment, 3) have a safety service provider on-site, 4) the mother has to engage in any required parenting classes, addiction recovery, or counseling.

Mothers seeking to regain custody of their children can begin the process with DHS supervised day visits at Samaritan Inn. Unaccompanied mothers can stay in our dormitory, then move to a private family room on nights they have custody. For some mothers, there is a gradual rebonding time, approved for a night or two at a time. Some mothers have shared custody with another person offsite, so we adjust the mother’s living quarters here, depending on her schedule of custody visits.

Mothers need to bury any shame and regain their personal value. They need to reclaim any lost respect, position, authority with their children and have the confidence of being a creditable parent. If possible, mothers can even attain hero status for being overcomers.

Names will remain anonymous for the privacy of the family pictured in this story.

The mother arrived at Samaritan Inn alone, because she had lost custody of both her children. They have different fathers and were in the temporary care of separate grandparents. The mother struggled with drug addiction, although she was able to maintain employment. When she relapsed into an out of control ruckus, police were called, she was arrested, and her children relocated. Because of her income, she was able to post her own bail and keep her job.

Immediately, she went to an out-patient treatment program to show the judge that she had initiated the process to regain custody of her children. Still, she lost the court case, because she did not have properly supervised housing. She needed a supervised living environment.

That is when this mother sought the help of Samaritan Inn. In two weeks, she had her daughter back. Regaining her son was more complicated, because of issues with his father being in the area. She had DHS supervised visits with her son at a friend’s house for a while, then unsupervised visits at Samaritan Inn, then full custody in five weeks.

Roseburg Rescue Mission is about more than just reuniting families and holding people accountable. We teach Biblical Truth, the moral compass to keep people from being indifferent and falling into worldly traps. Genuine recovery is not just housing, employment, and abstinence from drugs and alcohol, it’s in having identity in the Lord of Life.