December 2014 Newsletter

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Two Life Changing Events

“He was charming at first, nice, caring, sincere, dinner, flowers, candy, movies once or twice a week, helped family. We went through my father dying, then his father dying. We both stuck around leaning on each other for as long as we needed each other. I was with my boyfriend for four years. He was abusive from the first, verbally abusive, not happy with himself. There was name-calling, degrading remarks. He had been injured in a logging accident and couldn’t do it anymore. He felt inadequate as a provider, jealous that I had a job, questioned my whereabouts. He was very possessive, insecure. He would go to my work and cause a scene. I lost my job over it. Then I didn’t want to leave the house, because I didn’t feel good about myself. My self-esteem was very low, my world was shattered. I felt guilt about living together, not married. I was a broken person, praying for a way out of the relationship. We were codependent, that emotional tie was hard to break. Then he left me for another woman. I was abandoned, and I wanted to die,” Jenifer tearfully remembered.

Her daughter told her about Samaritan Inn. She had never been homeless before and had preconceived ideas about what she thought would be “rough girls” here. But that first night she decided, “These girls are just like me, some have been dealt bad cards in their life and they’re trying to make the best of it.” After a few months of healing, Jenifer landed a full-time job.She diligently saved her money and was getting ready to leave Samaritan Inn. But another life changing event stopped all plans for independence. She said, “I found a lump and had it checked out. They did an ultrasound and a biopsy. It was fast growing and aggressive. It was triple negative, not respondent to the hormones progesterone or estrogen, nor to some chemotherapies.” Jenifer underwent aggressive treatment for a time. As of this writing, she is under a less intense treatment. She said that its too early to know the outcome, but surgery is still a part of the expected treatment. After five months of treatment now, Jenifer has had the tenacity to keep her job, although part-time.

Still, she has had an emotional and a spiritual struggle. She questioned, “How could this happen to me, why this on top of everything else? I was distraught. I was mad. I had been through so much, and I thought that I was walking through it alone. I always had a relationship with God, now its more open and active. I know God is here with me every day stronger than ever in my whole life.” Jenifer said that at Samaritan Inn, while listening, reading and studying the Bible, she has gained a greater understanding of how to live, love and treat others. She credits our managers for providing her with uplifting counseling. Her favorite Scripture verses are Philippians 3:12-14, especially, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Jenifer has learned to avoid mutually dependent relationships, not to rely on her own ability or health, and to trust in the Lord.