October 2012 Newsletter

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A New Opportunity For Life

It was Shannon’s fifth attempt at suicide. The hospital was ready to discharge her, but this time there was no place to go. Even her codependent relationships were broken. Her parents, who up to this time were always an option, took the “tough love” approach, wanting their daughter to mature and be more independent. The social worker at the hospital recommended the Mission’s Samaritan Inn.

Shannon was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. She was abused as a child. As an adult, she said, “It affected the type of men I was drawn to; they were controlling, manipulative, abusing. Anger and depression ruled every decision I made. Drugs, alcohol and tobacco were never an issue. I locked myself out of the world, lost within myself, suicidal, ready to shut self down. It was a cry for help, because I know the difference between right and wrong. It was the only way I knew to release my pain. I just wanted it to stop, nothing else seemed to work. I have insecurities. I don’t have a good image of myself. I felt unworthy of love, happiness, respect, so I was self sabotaging in relationships. I’m not used to comfort, never really had safety, scared of someone seeing me in a different light than I see myself, that I could not measure up to their expectations.”

That was a lot of emotional baggage for Shannon to carry through the door of Samaritan Inn. Suddenly, she was on her own, terrified of being without family and of the stereotype she imagined a homeless shelter would be like. But she said, “I was greeted with open arms; they did everything possible to make me safe and comfortable.” Then she added, “After my first restful day here, I met with Kim (the manager) and set goals. That evening in chapel when Scripture was read, I got goose bumps as God was speaking to me. It made me accept the responsibility of my action and helped me to forgive. Before, I couldn’t let go of my past and focus on failure. I was forgiven and then able to forgive others. I don’t dwell on it anymore, like I used to. Before I got here, I didn’t feel I was ready or worthy to accept God in my life. Now I welcome Him freely.”

Shannon has learned relationship boundaries. She has grown in maturity, gained self-respect and is no longer tolerant of abusive people. She has made good friendships at Samaritan Inn. She has a new identity in life and in the Lord. As her relationship with the Lord is growing, so is her ability to have healthy relationships with other people. She has reconciled with her parents and her grown children just in time to be a grandmother very soon.

In the photo, Shannon is wearing her work uniform. She has had a housekeeping job at a hotel for months now. Its been years since she had a job, always being supported in relationships. She said, “I go to work every day accomplishing a purpose. This job has taught me independence. I’m no longer a codependent person.” The key to Shannon’s success was in accepting the love of the Lord in her life. Her favorite Bible verses are in I Corinthians 13, especially, that love keeps no record of wrongs.