December 2019 Newsletter

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Straightening Out A Tailspin

On a fateful night in his freshman year of high school, Jeff stayed home to catch up on homework, while his identical twin brother went partying with friends. When they went too fast down a winding road, the driver lost control, flipping the convertible on its top. His brother died, disfigured beyond recognition. Jeff said, “It was like a part of me died that day.” Surviving family was father, mother and Jeff. He felt guilty for not being with his brother or in his place. It would have been more bearable. His father blamed his mother for letting their son go out. His mother blamed herself. Jeff became pitted between parents in a marriage that then included physical abuse. He looked for something to fill the void of a life set in a tailspin.

He was bent on ways of blocking out the memory of his loss, even punishing himself. His father was the opposite, being a decorated marine, then a second career police officer. A rebel and a disciplinarian were in the same family and home. Jeff tried to do the right things. He graduated from high school, then worked as a welder. But, he said, “I did not know how to deal with reality, or guilt, or my mother being abused.” His lifestyle, centered around drugs, caused him to spend years in prison. While there, his violent behavior got him months in isolation. His mother died when he was locked up, and he was denied the ability to attend her funeral. When it was time for his release, he was afraid of all the technological advancements, what to do for a living, where to live. His father had retired and was declining in health. Father and son agreed to be a family again. Even though Jeff used his prison cooking skills to work in a restaurant, living with his father was like another prison, like doing penance for a past sin.

There was a codependency, needing each other, yet never letting go of their shared pain. When Jeff’s father died, came the parting blow of an unhealed family, all his father’s estate went to a past girlfriend. Jeff was left with a token inheritance and homeless. He was now the lone survivor and rejected at that. Down he went.

Jeff needed to know his loving, forgiving, saving Father in Heaven. He needed to understand truth, identity, purpose, and to hear and believe that he has no guilt, no reason to blame himself, or continue in self-punishment. He is loved and saved. When he heard the Good News that his Creator wanted to also be his Savior, he accepted the invitation. The pain of the past was released, and a new person now lived.

Jeff’s life was transformed while at the Mission, a place for straightening out a tailspin. He stabilized in our New Life Program, going to classes in Bible Study, addiction recovery, and life skills. He worked here as a Program cook then a supervisor. He said that he had the opportunity to go back and look at his life and appreciate there is a better way of doing things and knowing God. He said, “I got clean and sober here. I am alive to enjoy my wife and son.” Jeff is now making plans to move into a place with his new family.